Why Does Love Turn Into Hate: A master had a new disciple. The young disciple had many questions in his mind which he wanted to ask the Master. One day he came to the Guru and told him Master, I have seen that initially people love each other a lot, then slowly differences start arising between them and the differences turn into fights.
And they start saying bad things to each other, then the relationship breaks and love turns into hate Master, why does it happen that where there was love, hatred has taken its place now? The Master said today I am going to meet a farmer at his house, you also come along with me, you will get the answer to this question there After some time, the Master along with his disciple reached a nearby village.
After reaching the middle of the village, he knocked on the door of a house built there. A person came out from inside, he bowed to the Master and said, tell me Master, how can I serve you? The Master asked the man, “Is the dispute you were having with your wife over?”
Why Love Changes To Hate In your Relationship
Are you happy now? The man said, Master, marrying that woman is the biggest mistake of my life, she is not good at all, she does not take care of me and my family.
She always talks with arrogance, she is always angry, she has never understood me till date, she never listens to anything I say, she is not good at all, I wonder what kind of wife God has written in my fate Now she has left me and gone to her parental home and I also want that she stays there and never comes back in my life.
The Master said to his disciple, you see, this is the nature of human beings. Every human being has both good and bad inside him but man remembers only the bad and not the good and when he starts speaking ill of someone, then from beginning till the end he has seen only bad and speaks only bad and when he lets everything bad sit in his mind, then he hopes that everything goes good in his life.
What That Causes Love to Turn into Hate
How can goodness come into life from evil? To bring goodness in life, to bring happiness and peace, we have to look at the goodness but no one does this because doing so hurts the ego of the person. And he does not want to fall from the throne of his ego. On hearing all this from the mouth of the Master.
The person said, Master, what are you saying? If someone is bad, then he will see the evil in me. If my wife is bad, then I will see the evil in her only. Till date she has not done any such work that can make me happy. Master- Well have you ever done a work in your life till today that can make your wife happy? That man said, she never even allowed me to do anything for her.
The Master said leave all these bad things for some time and forget the shortcomings of your wife. Remember one good thing about your wife and tell me. The person said that once his mother had fallen very ill and she had taken great care of her. In those days she did not even care about day and night. The Master said that apart from this, do you remember any other goodness of your wife?
The person said that she always used to wake up first in the morning in the house and she took great care of my and parents’ food. Once when I became very sick, she used to stay awake the whole night and give me medicines. She was very hardworking. Even if she had any problem, she would not tell me. She always tried to make me happy.
Why Solitude and Suffering Lead to Clarity
While saying all this, tears came to the eyes of the man and he said, ” Master, what has happened to me? She has many flaws, however she just is not terrible. I don’t know why I couldn’ Master smiled and said, when we see evil in someone, evil attracts evil and then everything starts becoming bad in our life too. attracts goodness and everything good starts happening with us The man understood the matter and took leave from the Master and went to bring back his wife.
Why does love turn into hate? When there is hate in the heart, love cannot remain and where there is love, hate cannot remain. It depends on us whether we want to keep love or hate in our hearts. The disciple said, Master, I have understood your point very well. I have one more question. Will you answer this question as well? The Master said, of course, you can ask your question without hesitation.
The disciple said, Master, what is the most difficult task in this world? The Master said, the most difficult task in this world is to live in solitude. The disciple said; “What is so difficult in this?” anyone can live in solitude. Hearing this the Master smiled and said if you find this task so easy, can you live in solitude for 30 days?
The Paradox of Solitude: The Simplest and Hardest “Trick”
You have to not go anywhere for 30 days, stay in a cave, you will not have contact with anyone outside, you will remain busy in any kind of work inside the cave, you will only remain calm and silent. Will you be able to do it? The disciple said, but Master, what will happen by living in solitude?
What will you get from this? The Master said, you will know what you will get. But the question is whether you will be able to do such an easy task. The disciple agreed and the Master took his disciple to a cave and there he arranged for his food and drink for 30 days and said that the door of the cave is open.
If u cant no be showing me that the disciple entered the cave. The entire 1st day he used to be most effective just about present.
On the second day he started feeling strange. His mind was running outside again and again, he was feeling suffocated, he started walking here and there and started getting scared but somehow he passed the second day as well, but on the third day he became very restless, thoughts started coming in his mind that what useless work is he doing?
Who knows what all must be happening outside and I am sitting here in the cave, he came out of the cave on the third day and reached the Master, the Master smiled on seeing the disciple and said I was waiting for you only, it was decided that you would stay in solitude for 30 days, but you came out in three days only.
The path of solitude and self-actualization
Someone said, I don’t know Master, but I was feeling very restless from inside, I was feeling like going out again and again, in these three days I was not even able to find solitude, Many thoughts, feelings, imaginations and many other things were going on in my mind.
Someone was forcefully pulling me out. The Master said that it was none other than your mind. The mind does not like solitude. It always keeps searching for someone else, but when it does not find anyone else, does not see anyone else, then it becomes restless because its existence is because of others. If there are no others, Then the power of the mind will end and he will start losing control over you, that is why he wanted to take you out as soon as possible and you came out.
The disciple said Master; And you were dead on the money that it is a very difficult thing to live in seclusion from/to/of the world. Master said;
you did not ask what is the easiest task in this world. The disciple said Master this question was also in my mind but I could not ask. Master said if the most difficult program in this world is living in seclusion, then the easiest task in this world is also living in seclusion.
What the story tells us
The disciple said, Master, what kind of contradictory things are you saying, I am not able to understand anything. The Master said, solitude is our nature, we have just gone away from our nature. And by getting trapped in this web created by mind, we always keep looking for someone else and lose our solitude.
Solitude does not require any means, rather it is our nature. The disciple said, if solitude is our nature and it is so easy, then why did I come out of the cave in just 3 days? Why was I finding it so difficult to stay there? Why was I feeling suffocated there? Why was I so restless? The Master said, until solitude does not arise from within you, even if you are locked in a cave where you will not be alone, even there you will gather crowd around you.
And that crowd will be inside your mind. After this the Master took the disciple to a river and said, if you want to make a dam on this river how much time will it take you? Can you do it today yourself? The disciple said, “No Master, how can this be possible in 1 day, it will not happen in 2 days, 3 days or even 4 days” It will take a lot of time.
One a plan is figured out, run-up to Belen up the valley will be underway. Every problem that comes up will be looked into and resolved. And slowly with time the dam will be built. The Master said, you are right and in the same way a dam is built on mind’s river slowly and not in 1, 2, 3 or 4 days. This is done slowly over time The disciple said Master, I have understood very well what you are trying to explain to me.
I will also gradually prepare to tie a dam on my mind’s river. From that day onwards, the disciple started concentrating on his sadhana. He slowly started standing against his mind. He started taking small resolutions. He fulfilled many of his resolutions and many of his resolutions remained incomplete which were broken in between but every time he became stronger.
How to Stop Love Turning Into Hatred
With the completion of every resolution, his control over himself increased. With time, his small resolutions started turning into big resolutions. Then one day he took a resolution and went inside the cave. He did not come out of the cave for 30 days.
When 30 days passed, the Master got worried about his disciple and went inside the cave to see him. He saw that his disciple was sitting in a very quiet place meditating. As soon as he saw his Master, he stood up and bowed to him and said, Master, you were absolutely right.
Living in solitude is a very easy task. Solitude is our nature and this is our nature. There is nothing to be done for this, it is just that we cannot see it. Then both of the disciple and Master came out from that cave. Now you would be thinking, what is the meaning of this story of isolation.
In reality solitude is that thing which shows us the truth. Which shows us peace. We all are entangled in very small things in our life which are actually so trivial that their existence or non-existence does not make any difference but we have made them so big that they have a lot of importance in our life and our life revolves around them.
Why Does Love Turn Into Hate? The Final Answer
And we keep wandering right there. No one remained in this world. No matter how big a person is, no matter how much pride he has, everyone has turned to dust. Be it a king or a beggar, powerful or weak, saint or hermit, no one’s pride is left. Today we keep fighting so much for small things.
What will you do with all these things? It takes only a few moments for the body to turn into dust and we are fighting as if we are going to stay here forever. We have got some time, it is very precious, use it, learn something, know something to live life, even after knowing everything we know nothing. This is our irony and this is our unconsciousness and the name of getting out of this is awakening and awareness and consciousness and even enlightenment.
- FAQs
Why does love turn into hate?
Unresolved Conflicts & Misunderstandings: The most common thing that transforms love into hate is an unsolved conflict. Most of the times, we do so by twisting smallest issues and misunderstand them with each other (we even mis interpreted co partner).
How can relationships be understood better through solitude?
It may also give individuals the space and time to reflect/meditate, which allows them to have a clearer understanding of themselves. It enables a person to rid their selves of being tied up with other people as well hence bringing about inner harmony which can ultimately result in a better comprehension on relationships.
How is it that love turns to hate and how does the ego play a part in this?
It is our Ego that makes us ignore the best parts of others in favor of their flaws. The more the ego is in control, it becomes increasingly difficult to see the good in others which usually leads to bad feelings and sooner or later turns love into hatred.
How will I stop your love turning into hatered.
Overcoming a relationship turning into hatred requires proper healthy communication, understanding along with constructive behavior appreciation and do not forget leave our grudges & negativity.
How could existing alone be the easiest and hardest thing to do?
It is hard to be alone, as you have no other option than facing yourself without any distractions. But it is also simple because this solitude, that of the basic but clear state for us to perceive external triggers and influences on our thoughts.
How do I stop fearing being alone?
To go and be alone for a while, try mindfulness practices, meditation or just self-reflection. Take note of how you think, what your emotions are telling you and work to release the bad feelings. Solitude may be empowering because — it encourages us to inner peace and self-realization.